@StellaRtwot: 6 pack abs on a guy are nice but it probably means that he won't get drunk & rob a convenient store of cheese curls w/me at 3am, so no.

@decentbirthday: Buddha: all life is suffering Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes

@LeonEarlgrey: "Steak and Shake" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires.

@i_theindian: Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot

@bridger_w: When I see a "How am I driving?" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence