@Neauxpe: A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment.
Bros before hoes.
@CorkyKneivel: I can't get her off my mind, even the wind seems to whisper her name. Never fall in love with a girl named WHOOSHEE FFREWERRREFSHH.
@daemonic3: Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!?
*dad makes throat slice gesture*
"No one, Mom. No one"
@DaddyJew: Honey, I think the milks gone bad
"what makes you say that dear?"
*milk presses the gun to my back* just a hunch, btw where's your purse?
@girl_a_whirl: You know you're a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you.
Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me.
@sween: When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?... hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."