@KimmyMonte: A burrito.. in a bowl? Sure that sounds great! And while you're at it, why don't you rip the blankets off me while I sleep, u piece of shit
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@AKcrazy18: Tornadoes and marriage are alike, because they both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
@hdaniels_00: When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I sleep til noon because I am a problem solver
@90spideypool: when you're jamming to an old-school r&b song and someone older than you ask "what you know about this?" me:
@notalogin: Headline: "Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people don't respect them, study finds". AKA, "My eye is up here".