@KimmyMonte: A burrito.. in a bowl? Sure that sounds great! And while you're at it, why don't you rip the blankets off me while I sleep, u piece of shit
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@Tommytoughstuff: "Let's check in with Ted our correspondent in the field." Ted: "Hey Bob I've been in this field for about an hour, and I'm super bored."
@squirrel74wkgn: *looks over back shoulder* *puts car in reverse* Wife: OH MY GOD *slams brakes* Me: WHAT? Wife: Becky just posted the cutest picture
@PeterMolydeux: You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying
@putyoursisterd1: Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.