@SteelCityDawn: A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?
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@KeetPotato: [studying beached whale] its a new species bill think of a name ok um *surfer walks by* yo killer whale dude *biologists look at each other*
@SatansTongue: Give me a massage "Mm okay" *rubs oil all over her* *things get hot* *things get too hot* *she bursts into flames* "Dang I used petroleum"
@SamGrittner: I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays.