@TheTweetOfGod: A cannibal is just a foodie who likes other foodies.
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@AndyAsAdjective: My fly was down the entire day & I didn't notice. So I'm taking him out for drinks after work. Hopefully that'll help cheer him up a bit.
@Dawn_M_: It's been four days since I started this rap battle. I'm tired and just want to see my family.
@mattingebretson: Whenever someone starts checking their phone when I'm talking to them I like to regain their attention by combing their hair
@hangin_out: Blood is thicker than water. Maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.