@TheTweetOfGod: A cannibal is just a foodie who likes other foodies.
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@crylenol: VAN GOGH: Go on, open it. You'll like it. Much better than last year. GIRL: It isn't another ear is it, Vince? VAN GOGH: what
@sarcasm_inc: Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper.
@MakesYouGiggle: Dear people with resolutions, Please bring all your unwanted.. bread, junk food, soda, drugs, and alcohol to my house. Thanks.