@LeonEarlgrey: "A cantaloupe is an antelope that doesn't."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@undeadmolly: 35% of all hospital deaths are caused by the attending physician failing to yell "Don't you die on me!" at the right moment.
@GetCougarized: The best things in life are free. Like your neighbor's wifi, their morning paper & their liquor cabinet while they're away, for instance.
@StrawburyDelite: Apparently, my office doesn't think the women's restroom needs a tampon disposal, so wrapped it up and put it in their suggestion box.