@egg_dog: a car is a metal ravioli and you are the meat!
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@girlontapas: How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer.
@HousewifeOfHell: My husband isn't drinking while he trains for a marathon. There's all this pressure on me to be supportive, so, reluctantly, I'm now drinking for both of us.
@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.