@bromanconsul: a car just rolled by blasting the "Duck Tales" theme song so now I'm chasing after it and trying to catch up with my new best friend
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@fro_vo: [wedding] Priest: repeat after me Groom: after me P: ... [to bride] is he serious Bride: no his name is gary
@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.
@TheRolo: Haters gonna hate Alligators gonna alligate Waiters gonna wait Jet Fuel can't melt steel beams Potatoes gonna potate
@Douchekevin: A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice