@NewYorker: A cartoon by Sam Gross from 1998, in honor of our 90th Anniversary Book of Cartoons:
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@LoveNLunchmeat: If you tweet about orthopedic shoes enough, you don't even need to write "No DMs" in your bio.
@neonwario: I excuse myself to the washroom before I order You walk in and see me, leaning towards the mirror repeating "I'll have the hamburger please"
@okimstillhungry: Scientist: You left the cage open and 349 frogs escaped. Me: I guess I FROGOT :) Scientist: *rubbing bridge of nose* They were poisonous.
@007Rex_Inc: I dont get laid nearly enough for someone who can name five different types of pokemon.