@jonnysun: a cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremeley slow motion
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@Pee_And_Giggles: 19: Help me think of a tweet. Me: I'm sorry for the never-ending selfies, duck lip poses, & whining about how hard my life is. 19: Maaaaa!
@lovemydogduck: My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
@suntzufuntzu: Woman on the phone congratulates you for winning "Unknowing Android of the Year." "I'm not an android!" you protest. "Marvelous," she gushes