@jonnysun: a cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremeley slow motion
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@LizHackett: I miss the days before the internet, when you didn't know some person's every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.
@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
@NotthatAdamWest: "Bless your heart" is southern for "I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."