@__MICHAELJ0RDAN: A ceiling fan wont cut a bagel in half, not even on top speed
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@ArfMeasures: SURGEON: I'm afraid that your Grandma is very critical ME: Oh no SURGEON: She *starts to tear up* she said I have a stupid haircut
@ZombieProblms: You can't ban me from your neighborhood just because I "look scary" and "want to kill you." That's discrimination.
@RandomlyMJ: 8 out of 10 men prefer not to date psychotic women with bad tempers, emotional baggage and daddy issues. To the other two.... Hi, I'm MJ
@TheAlexNevil: 5: I want to learn drums. Me: Ok, but you have to walk them, feed them, and pick up their poop. *confused, 5 walks away I am the master.