@envydatropic: A cell phone with a low battery is nothing more than a damn-cell in distress
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@bossy_bootz: Me : It's over & nothing you say will make me change my mind Him : 'I just ordered a large thin crust' Me : Be there in 10 min
@iGreenMonk: Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
@weinerdog4life: I hate when people talk to me while I'm using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like "Sir this is a display model at Home Depot"
@SteussieErica: Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time