@UberFacts: A Chicago High School played Justin Bieber's "Baby" between classes and students had to pay to stop it - They earned $1,000 in 3 days.
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@AmishPornStar1: Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.
@BigBang6000: Still complaining about the guy with a million followers taking credit for your tweets? Never had a boss have you?
@ShoutingGoddess: Marriage is like a tattoo. You say it's for ever but we all know there are ways & means of ditching it. It'll just be painful and expensive.
@_green723: If you successfully toss a quarter 5 times through the moving blades of a ceiling fan, you are talented and stoned.