@bearcub577: A child's purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
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@Steelers1972: I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
@decentbirthday: Jodie from HR: Through god, all things are possible Me: Okay do a kickflip Jodie: What Me: Do a double kickflip right now
@GingerHotDish: I sent my boyfriend a picture of my taco. Yeah, he was disappointed that wasn't a euphemism as well.
@JohnFugelsang: If god didn't like sex, He wouldn't make us scream His name when it's really hot.