@bearcub577: A child's purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
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@1CleverGirl1: 3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid.
@BlindChow: Your honor, may I approach the bench? "You may." *walks up to bench* *boops judge's nose*
@PetrickSara: Someone said that my kid would probably grow up to be president, and I'm not sure if it was meant as a compliment or an insult.