@rickygervais: A Christian telling an atheist he is going to Hell is about as scary as a small child telling an adult they wont get any presents from Santa
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@redpawn3: One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade.
@prtxt: Appreciate how some people don't come out of ATM till they find the meaning of life right there.
@_Water_Baby: *at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless.
@NurseKimaaa: It's so awkward when a man texts you to come over and you have to pretend like you weren't already inside their house.