@frankpallotta: A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994.
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@JamieLinks: Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died.
@WheelTod: That awkward moment when you lazily follow someone cos of 1 funny joke, then realize all the rest of their stuff is KKK recruitment material
@Ooft_Headshot: Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves.
@Douchekevin: This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'.