@frankpallotta: A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994.
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@Ristolable: He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor
@XplodingUnicorn: Texas principal: If that's a homemade clock and not a bomb, what time is it? Muslim student: Time for a lawsuit.
@TweetsByTheTony: Hey, girl. I noticed you checking out my Hello Kitty socks. Just so you know...the boxers match. *winks*
@girlontapas: Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them.