@HousewifeOfHell: A closed mouth gathers no fries.
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@NicestHippo: "You're sure you understand stock trading?" ME: Yep "Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"
@DomesticGoddss: Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 7.
@Black__Elvis: "Let's blast some Jack Johnson and call each other Broseph and dump our girlfriends with a text." -Dudes who wear salmon colored jean shorts