@HousewifeOfHell: A closed mouth gathers no fries.
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@somelightcrying: [think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]
@pharmasean: I'm rubber, you're glue. He's scissors, she's a toner cartridge, those fellas are paperclips. Welcome to the supply closet pal.
@FullMetalMommy: My husband brought home one happy meal for two kids. Frankly things would have been less dramatic if he'd brought home a girlfriend.
@NewDadNotes: Yoga Instructor: and now we move into downward-facing dog. Me: you forgot updog. Yoga Instructor: what’s u- Wife: -NOOO!!!