@HousewifeOfHell: A closed mouth gathers no fries.
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@bigbrez100: Bad: I saw my girlfriend's name and number on a couple of men's bathroom walls.. Worse: It was in her handwriting...
@NervousJr: Snow White is my favorite Disney movie about a man trying to hook up with a woman who just wants to sleep.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim.
@pizzajaynow: She asked me to buy Tampons so I bought Kotex, because that one time I wanted ice cream and she bought frozen yogurt.