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@HousewifeOfHell: A closed mouth gathers no fries.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks?
Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself.
@PanicRestroom: He died doing two things he loved: making a toast sandwich and taking a bath
@GabbbarSingh: Happy Teacher's day, Wikipedia.
@simoncholland: 1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note.
Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil.
@Rollinintheseat: When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there.