@garrettbarry70: A clown sighting was reported at the office this morning but it turns out Karen put her make up on in the car again.
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@Dallani: Yes, 911?... Yeah, this guy is wearing green-colored skinny jeans and he has a really hot girlfriend. So do I judge him...or her?
@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"
@cheeky__gal: I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can't tell because I'm eating Doritos.
@CallMeMrBigs: I'm not looking for the woman who reads 50 Shades of Grey. I'm looking for the one that finds it boring.