@Prince_Smarming: A co-worker said to me, "Could you be any more annoying?" So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
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@GingerHotDish: [Me as a Sunday school teacher] ...then on the third day Odin went to Valhalla so that warriors who died in battle would have eternal life.
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: So what's your spirit animal? ME: Roosters. HER: Lol, why? ME: *leans in close* I also start my day screaming.