@mjkspeaks: a contractor is just a regular tractor that rips people off
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@funnyhumour: How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house.
@samalmightysam: I wanna get on a taxi and after riding around a while without saying anything, tell the driver 'I killed myself on that bridge 2 years ago'
@SocialustGal13: My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That's the last time we're playing Monopoly.
@man_spach: Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?