@jonnysun: a cool magic trick woud be if a magiciam puts their hand in a hat & sombody wearin a hat in the audience sudenly feels a hand on their head
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@PopSlapFunk: 5: "Dad, to be the man of the house, you need to wear pants." Me: ... 5: ... Me: "It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Job's all yours."
@daemonic3: In a dog eat dog world, the chocolate lab is the most delicious, yet poisonous of all breeds.
@ItsAndyRyan: Ten years ago I married my best friend. The vicar had awful eyesight and we were too polite to point out his mistake. All terribly British.
@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.