@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
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@GingerHotDish: I sent my boyfriend a picture of my taco. Yeah, he was disappointed that wasn't a euphemism as well.
@jlock17: My son, 15, DOES NOT KNOW the name of the street we've lived on for 7 years. We are taking him to the vet to get micro-chipped.
@SteveSuckington: [talking to daughter's art major boyfriend] "You know who else had a pointy beard? Satan."