@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
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@WilliamAder: Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them.
@TheAlexNevil: The Mrs recognizes my "tell" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud "A-OOGA" noise.
@Quartzjixler: I had professional respect for you but then you said "recognizance" when you meant 'reconnaissance.'