@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
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@Tmoney68: *Tries new coffee with 300% more caffeine* "It's okay. Can't feel a difference." [5 minutes later] *Throws refrigerator out window*
@SortaBad: *hears a man crying in a bathroom stall at work* "Excuse me, are you okay? Because you're kinda stealing my thing"
@BrandonVine: I bet when Kanye was little he played tag by himself, then argued with himself on whether he was tagged or not.