@KyleMcDowell86: A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@maddie11_Anders: Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?
@T_Bonezzz: *Hunts and Kills Winnie the Pooh *Hunts and Kills Pepé Le Pew *Cooks both in stew *Serves Pooh Pew Platter
@AGreaterMonster: The odds of an asteroid hitting Earth are the same as one bullet hitting another bullet in a duel. Dinosaurs: We'll take those odds!
@CorkyKneivel: GUY: Sorry you two broke up. What happened? ME: Well, like most things, it can be traced to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand...