@TheTimeIGotHigh: "A cop pulled me over came up to the window and said, i smell marijuana... i said, i smell bacon... yeah i was that high lol"
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@Leemanish: There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face.
@lunasgarden_: I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway.
@rickolantern: My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks