@iliza: A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was "yesss" because I'm nosey.
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@Steelers1972: My superpower is destroying the neighbors living room from 100 yards with nothing but her cat and my laser pointer.
@nPhelendriqal: A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
@Mom_Overboard: They should make a sister store to "Forever 21" called "So Now You're 35" where you can buy sensible pants and soft sweaters & take naps.