@iliza: A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was "yesss" because I'm nosey.
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@mrtruthandsoul: No, I don't need a bag; I'm gonna juggle this 12 pack, this bag of ice and this whole roasted chicken on my unicycle while whistling Dixie.
@Brianhopecomedy: I've tried everywhere so I can confirm that there is no snooze button on a baby.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: My teacher said this project needs adult supervision. Me: OK, what do you need me to do? 5-year-old: Go find Mom.