@AntoKenya: A Couple of underscores is to a couple of underscores? Ok. RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______.
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@Marilyn_Brando: *grandpa walks in with a bearded man in a plaid shirt & skinny jeans* "uhh grandpa who's that?" "my hip replacement"
@yab_kat: Me: I have a question about this time travel machine I bought from you guys Him: Sir, we don't sell time travel machines me: not yet
@RandySmithWhat: "[I] broke up with him because I was sick of justifying his trench coat to my friends" - Overheard on the bus