@JackieMartling: A couple's having breakfast. He says, "Were you faking it last night?" She says, "No, I was really asleep."
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@XAIMMadellynne: Bro,I seriously locked myself outta my jeep. He was driving a top-less jeep with the windows down.
@niks27_shah: I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said "WHERE ?"
@envydatropic: Stuck between "that was awesome" and "OMG do you need medical attention" wherever I walk off the dance floor