@moose_chocolate: A coworker told me she was "catching up on her correspondence" so apparently it's 1932 here at my workplace.
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@salamingia: My wife said I'm picky. I said obviously not picky enough. Anyone need a roommate tonight?
@JohnLyonTweets: *watches Beauty and the Beast* *looks at dirty dishes in sink* WASH YOURSELVES AND SING TO ME!
@trojansauce: [interview] "what's you're biggest weakness?" *whispers* "sorry i couldn-" I CANT CONTROL MY VOLUME