@thenatewolf: *A coyote bites my leg in front of a girl I like but I wanna seem cool so I just keep walking and take it with me*
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@Sammy_Sega: BAD: When your date has been in the Men's Room for 45 mins. WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says "he's not coming back"
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu.
@caperbc75: First off I want to commend you for taking part in credit counselling. Now, under assets you wrote "like an onion". Can you clarify?
@DancesWithTamis: "Hola! I'm Señor Coconut, children" [cracks head on the pavement. Children scream] "Drink me. Drink me. I'm full of vitamins and minerals"