@SkinnerSteven: A "cup of Joe" has a completely different meaning at the sperm bank
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@KevinFarzad: It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing Domino's."
@Thynebear: Executioner: Before we do this, what would you like for your last meal? "I'll have a panda please" [judge, under his breath] Can he do that?
@merican_ninjy: Yelling out "Stranger Danger!" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code.
@GreenishDuck: When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.