@SkinnerSteven: A "cup of Joe" has a completely different meaning at the sperm bank
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@Mr_Kapowski: *aliens land on Thanksgiving* *me showing them around* "We have a specific bone we break from the carcass to make a wish" Aliens: Savages
@Sophie2078: Auto correct changed naughty with nausea and it was the best decision i ever made in this relationship.
@Kyle_Lippert: If you look in your bathroom mirror & say "Donald Trump" 3 times, the hair in your shower drain rises up & starts yelling racist slurs.