@SkinnerSteven: A "cup of Joe" has a completely different meaning at the sperm bank
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@QueenofSparta: She's a macaroni art maker, he creates pictures of Jesus on toast. Their budget is $1.2m. *House Hunters
@einaregilsson: MC HAMMER: U can't touch this! ... U can't touch this! MASSAGE THERAPIST: Please just let me do my job Mr. Hammer! MC HAMMER: U can't tou...
@matt___nelson: "Will he ever wake up?" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*
@DirtMcTurd: One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together