@SkinnerSteven: A "cup of Joe" has a completely different meaning at the sperm bank
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@JohnHilsen: "There's no I in TEAM," he yells. "There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM," I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again.
@WheelTod: Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one.
@timdonakowski: As long as you're good at blending in, you can be part of Brad and Angelina's family too.
@sofarrsogud: My son, Luke, loves how I named all my kids after Star Wars characters. My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.