@SharpeBytes: A customer just told me that it takes a 14 mile run to work off 1 Oreo. Don't worry she's dead now
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@Cpt_Burnout: Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home.
@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me
@krisv_723: Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.