@electrolemon: a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn't know what to say so I stammered out "I like bread"
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@JMNuch23: When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply by 3 and add the number of guys in her phone named Tyler
@Marlebean: I broke up with my boyfriend. He was such a jerk. What a goat! -Don't you mean pig? No. He tried to eat my couch!
@Mr_Kapowski: If you wear a cape to a meal, you can spin it around to the front and have a full sized bib for eating