@OutOnTheMoors: A CW pronounces both "r"s in February, both "d"s in Wednesday and has just told me the "correct" way to say segue. Please send weapons.
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@Carmel_Coleman: Your car won't start? Have you tried getting out of it and then getting back into it again? That usually works for my computer.
@Book_Krazy: [A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank] Why do you think people hate us so much? "Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."
@drinksmcgee: Me: Why are you holding a fork? Coworker: My toast is caught in the toaster. Me: STOP! *turns my chair to get a better view Me: Carry on.
@Brampersandon_: How did the date go? -Not good. Aww what went wrong? -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.