@imasmartass37: A cyclist told me to share the road, so I threw a piece of asphalt at him.
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@Thynebear: *calls into work* "yo boss i'm real sick" "you don't sound sick..." "ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys" "wow u do sound hella sick"
@Easy_Tiger__: Girls are like puppies. If you don't take them out enough, they'll poop on your rug. SERIOUSLY ASHLEY ON MY RUG??
@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.