@torrami: A dance club by night and coffee house by day, called Bump and Grind.
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@TheHyyyype: [driving] WIFE: gross, did you see the roadkill back there? ME [scared]: did i see the road kill what?
@TheRealDratch: Trying to get lunch w 4 yo in restaurant: "If you can't behave we're going to have to leave here." "But I want to leave here." Touché.
@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.
@jonnysun: i wonder how many time-travelers accidemtaly went back in time instead of forward but then saw a knight & thought "wow look at this robot!!"