@kelkulus: A dating app called "Hinder" where some guy shows up in the middle of every date and ruins everything.
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@DaveSirus: The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they're part of a conspiracy.
@DamienFahey: About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
@DamienFahey: Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check.
@LucyLouMcB: You wanna do stuff with toys in bed? Let's do it; I've already got like 3 hot wheels cars and a Barbie in there right now, so....