@awescar: A death metal song about an Excel spreadsheet not doing what I want.
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@SteveKoehler22: Apple Computer is taking steps to protect user privacy. Their new policy is iWon't tell...iPromise
@WilliamAder: First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework.
@Piecezilla: The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news.
@thesulk: When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial.