@sad_tree: *A demon tries to posses my soul while I sleep but can't because he's choking on all of the axe body spray I'm wearing*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trevso_electric: Gum commercials exaggerate your odds of kissing a complete stranger in public by 780,000,000%
@dshack8: Hell hath no fury like that of a woman waiting for you to reply to her text all the while she sees you're continuing to send tweets.
@just1fool: Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.