@Nathan_NC17: A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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@KeetPotato: [dog paws your leg when you stop stroking his head] 1st time: "aww cuuuute" 2nd time: "ha okay" 3rd time: "i am trapped in a nightmare"
@delusionaliam: Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire.
@KalvinMacleod: My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips.