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@longwall26: A doorbell that whispers "hide."
@Scorpio1080: Before Calling Me, ask yourself "Is This Textable?"
@SardonicTart: "You're free now" I say to my stomach as I unbutton my pants.
@afairiesweetear: the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago
@themiltron: [god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
@NicestHippo: I love emoji. No longer do I have to type out "This weather is yellow face with hearts instead of eyes"