@hamspamtymaam: A drivers license is basically just a selfie with way too much info.
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@idigcrazychics: You can't boss me around until you're older than the whiskey I drink. -subtweet to my GF
@Its_Miss_Riss: Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. .
@Amburglar_: "Ok J Lo, we have a movie for you." "Is the male lead obsessed with me?" "Yes." "I'll do it."