@hamspamtymaam: A drivers license is basically just a selfie with way too much info.
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@PaperWash: Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can't use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
@HomeProbably: The best thing I ever did was install a fake doorbell. Now no one ever knocks on my door.
@Dawn_M_: Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
@IamEveryDayPpl: The real miracle is that the human race still exists after being stupid enough to kill the guy who could turn water into wine... Idiots.