@Molly_Kats: A drop of roof water hit my face and I reacted like it was liquid herpes.
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@TheMichaelRock: Someone called me stupid and then blocked me before I even had a chance to agree with them.
@Jaywoo74: Wife: Are you coming or not? Me: Is there gonna be alcohol? Wife: It's your grandmother's funeral! M:... Wife: NO! Me: Then I'm not coming.
@internetluke: [shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene] *they all gasp* That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?
@Marcmywords2: I hate when you go to a surprise party, and all anyone wants to do is talk about your drug problem.