@AnneeWH: A fairy godmother but for breakups. She takes your phone and leaves alcohol and possibly your first cat.
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@vanderheydensax: [Name origins] Mr. Miller: I grind wheat into flour. Mrs. Smith: I hammer iron on an anvil. Mr. Duckworth: THAT MALLARD SHOULD COST $6.
@trojansauce: *in the corridor of the club waiting for my transitions lenses to turn back into glasses* i'll see you ladies inside
@KizerBillhelm: *dies* *gets to heaven* *sees furries everywhere* Me: What the... Jeebus: Hell hath no furry, man *laughs, puts on giraffe costume*