@armenianhbilly: A fat racist and a skinny racist jump off a cliff. Who wins? Society
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@hazelmotes1: Kids, you'll never know the pain of digging the innards of a loved cassette out of a cheap stereo and crying as you wind it up with a pencil
@Reverend_Scott: JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]
@MadamBetteNoire: Pollen count so high, junkies are trying to uncook their meth back to Sudafed.
@Weird_Rash: List of food it’s okay to eat with your hands: - corn on the cob - chicken wings - ribs - hamburgers - spaghetti at your in-laws