@dooce: A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons.
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@everygirI: if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too
@Book_Krazy: Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking? Me: No B: Tell me our company policy M: Lol, I can't even do that when I'm sober
@BradBroaddus: My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.
@sickipediabot: Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying "I want to help Arsenal win trophies." So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?