@dooce: A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons.
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@KeetPotato: gang leader: "this isnt what i meant when i said go rob the store" me: [putting 19 cartons of milk in fridge] "you should be more specific"
@chuuew: ME: Table for 7 please WAITER: Hahahahahahaha ME: 7-p-m. Just me WAITER: Okay that makes more sense
@andlikelaura: Kale: i strengthen the immune system Avocado: i’m a healthy fat Quinoa: i provide fiber & protein Deep Fried Twinkie: i cause diabetes Me: six twinkies please