@dooce: A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons.
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@CantWaitToNap: Hey boy, are you an Amazon wish list? Because I want you so bad, but will forget about you when I sign out.
@misfarber: [fraud trial] Lawyer: is it true these numbers are all fake? Defendant: no-- they all actually exist Judge: lol owned *high-5s defendant*
@Playing_Dad: *consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now.
@roxiqt: ME: If you married the Kool-Aid Man, you'd need an umbrella because when he leaned down to kiss you at the wedding, he'd spill red Kool-Aid all over you & it would be like that scene in the movie Carrie THERAPIST: And you want to discuss this for another session? ME: Oh yeah