@TheCiscoKidder: A fine piece of art is like a fine piece of ass, I don't understand either one but I want to take both home and mount them against the wall.
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@ddrwg: [Riding a saddled turtle] BATTLE TORTOISE, GOOOO!! [turtle just goes normal speed for turtles] Aww man.
@DaddyJew: 7: I didn't do my homework Me: why not? 7: they told us to write about the new president Me: so? 7: you told me not to cuss
@girl_a_whirl: [Interview] "Tell me your weaknesses" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: IF THEY'RE THE GREATEST GENERATION WHY CAN'T EITHER OF MY PARENTS REMEMBER THEIR FACEBOOK PASSWORDS?!