@PencilWalrus: A flamingo in the streets and a lion in the sheets and a kangaroo at Target and I think Carl forgot to lock up the zoo last night.
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@ladybroseph: Many said I couldn't crossbreed peacocks and flamingos. Yet, I stand here today with my beloved flamingcocks as an inspiration to our youth.
@IamEveryDayPpl: Me: Dear Santa... Santa: *scrolling my TL* I'm going to just stop you right there.
@GulfCoastJake: Tip: When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?" do NOT respond with "I know, right?!"