@PencilWalrus: A flamingo in the streets and a lion in the sheets and a kangaroo at Target and I think Carl forgot to lock up the zoo last night.
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@JillianKarger: DARTH VADER: I am your father LUKE: Buy me some jeans then DV: *reluctantly hands over money* ...You better actually buy jeans with this
@just1fool: I leave the window open at night hoping a drunk criminal will accidentally drop a bag of money inside while trying to break in.
@AndyAsAdjective: *walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* Back again? Forget something? -Um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?