@juliussharpe: A foolproof way to get a woman's phone number is to hit her car.
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@KevinFarzad: Grand Theft Auto reminds me of Florida. Except one lets you shoot people without consequence and the other is a video game.
@TyWebb1980: *Arrives at the barbers* "I'd like some highlights please" *Barber puts on video of old haircuts*
@Beardson: I'm simultaneously drinking Starbucks and a Monster, in case I need to do something extreme and be a snob about it, within the next 30 min.
@beefman138: I'm a Twitter guy who is married to a Facebook girl, so I don't understand how people of differing religions can't get along.