@NoDomesticDiva: A friend said she thinks she should buy her teen a chastity belt. I said try perming her bangs, that worked well for me when I was younger.
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@Cool_Jesse: When I wrote "Spiritual" on my online-dating profile, I meant I like to watch 'Ghostbusters'.
@myles_morrison: Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like "that explains it."