@NoDomesticDiva: A friend said she thinks she should buy her teen a chastity belt. I said try perming her bangs, that worked well for me when I was younger.
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: I'm exhausted. Please just go to sleep. Brain: K Me: Brain: Me: Brain: Me: *almost asleep, drooling a little* Brain: HOW WOULD YOU EVEN DANCE IF YOUR FEET ARE LOOSE
@StinkyGr33n: My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. "That time of the month?" I replied. He's not amused.
@TheDeducers: I'm not waiting until I'm a ghost to tell people 'get out of my house' in a creepy voice