@Underchilde: A friend was telling me about quantum mechanics and I told her how I hate it when the safety seal on ketchup leaves that clear film behind.
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@stats_canada: 66% of Canadians were unimpressed with "The Revenant", or as it's known in Canada, "Pretty Average Day"
@TopherKearby: Want to know what it's like to have kids? 1. Gather everything you own. 2. Throw it all on the floor. 3. Pick it up. 4. Repeat for infinity.
@GinAndJif: Don'tcha wish your g/f was fun like me? *plays Twister* Don'tcha wish your g/f was a freak like me? *regurgitates a jellyfish* Don'tcha...?